


What's Best For You

by ani_bester



Category: Avengers (Comics), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Fix-It, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-30
Updated: 2013-01-30
Packaged: 2017-11-27 14:32:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/663090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ani_bester/pseuds/ani_bester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha takes matters into her own hands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's Best For You

**Author's Note:**

> Alternative Ending to Winter Soldier 14  
> I’m not saying there aren't problematic issues here, but they are ones I am aware of and intend as thinky points not cheap shocks -_-

Natasha watched as the last of the orderlies left, taking their noise, their samples, and their pitying eyes with them. 

She waited for the door to close, waited to hear the click, waited a little bit more-old habits not letting her relax until she'd preyed every secret from the shadows and was certain she was alone.

Natasha rolled over in the hospital bed and squeezed her eyes shut as though she could squeeze out the image of James if she tried hard enough. 

But, she couldn't escape the memory. The pain that filled his eyes when she'd asked who he was. He'd looked like a lost boy, as though without her he had nothing and no one. 

She'd almost given up the whole thing in that moment just to go thump his head. She’d wanted to yell, to push him into Steve, to shove a phone into his hand and insist he call Sam, or Clint, or Toro, or Jessica, or Bobbi, or Kate or ANYONE.

Anyone that would remind him he had more in his life than her. 

Natasha took a deep breath. The next few days would be hard. 

That was a lie. 

The next few everything would be hard. But she knew she would push through. She could rely on herself for that. She could push through any pain, even pain she choose. 

The relationship needed to end. They'd clung to each other in Russia because they were allowed nothing else. The stolen relationship had to be everything to them because that was the only thing they had ever chosen, could ever choose. Or so they had thought.

But that wasn't their life anymore and yet the old patterns had come back. James had stopped seeing people. The excuse of being dead had made it easy, but even before that he'd been pulling away. Away from everyone but her.

And she'd allowed him to pull her with him. His smile made it easy and memories of a time when he had been her everything paved the way.

But she couldn't do that. Hard enough to be in a relationship. Bad idea to be in one that charged cheerfully ahead into codependency.

And one that left them exposed. 

In Russia she'd been used against him. 

And now she'd been used against him again. Everything that was her had been stripped away just so James would hurt.  
Natasha clenched her fists until blood pooled around her nails. Novokov. 

Natasha exhaled as Leo's face dissolved leaving only Bucky's hurt and startled expression to haunt her. His pain she knew- or at least told herself- was better than if she'd told the truth. Her forgetting him was something he might one day work through. Her rejecting him? She didn't think he had that in him. Not yet. 

And she didn't have it in her to deal with questions. 

Everyone would mean well, but Sharon would want to know if she was sure, Steve would awkwardly speak on Bucky's behalf, Clint would probably even say something about them as a couple - lord knows he said near everything else he thought. Not to mention Bobbi, Jan, Toro, and everyone else who would second guess her, ask her to explain, or act like there were "sides" one had to take as though they were all high school friends rather than seasoned Avengers. 

The lie would be easier. Easier on Bucky, easier on her, easier on everyone. 

She repeated those thoughts t herself until Bucky's face faded. 

It would be hard acting like she didn't know him, but Natasha knew that if there was one thing she could do it was to sell a lie, especially if it was for the good of those she loved.


End file.
